Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
