i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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