She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
