There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.