I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
