i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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