Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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