What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
