We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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