He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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