operation have a gay friend backfired
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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