So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
