I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
