Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
