I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
