tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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