He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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