I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My penis needs a shock collar
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
