Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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