Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
