Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
