you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
