Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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