i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
