I CAN MOONWALK!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
