kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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