the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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