Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
whose ass print is on the piano?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
