god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Green mimosas i think yes
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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