My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
