If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
