last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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