i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
