that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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