I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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