Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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