we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
