i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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