I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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