he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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