My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
