Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
