That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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