distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
