Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Randomize