The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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