he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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