Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
