Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
