Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize