We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
