just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
