Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
