It's just like the Real World with babies
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
