I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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