Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
