i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
