I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
