I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think I won the penis lottery.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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