And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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