i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
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