its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
