yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
