Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
