I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
